Turning Self Doubt into Confidence

Tomorrow I begin my journey as a fourth grade teacher. Up until today, I have had ridiculous amounts of anxiety and all kinds of nerves about this new chapter in my life. Who thought that I was capable of educating 25 nine-year-old kids? Why did I think that I could ever do this? Am I the only one feeling like a chicken running around with its head cut off [sorry vegetarians/vegans for that graphic imagery]? The self doubt I have been feeling has been all consuming to the point where I'm constantly in tears and fighting this constant internal battle of whether to give up or keep pushing. Usually when I begin something new, although I am nervous about it, the thought of giving up on it or thinking I'm not good enough for the job never ever enters my mind. But this time has been completely different... Up until today. So what changed?

P E R S P E C T I V E 

I went to church, as I make it a point to do every single Sunday that I am able, and I got everything I needed and more out of the message. Through Pastor Steven's word I was able to change my perspective completely and take it off of myself and put it on Him and what He is calling me to do for the next 180 days in the classroom and beyond. I had to change my question from "What can God do for me?" to "What can God do through me?" Whose lives can I touch through my teaching or even through just my presence in that classroom?

It may seem like something small to you, but to me it was everything that I needed to hear. Once I shifted the focus off of myself (something that I struggle with in more than just this setting), I realized that this is bigger than me. If I spend time worrying about what I'm doing right or wrong in the classroom, it's taking the spotlight off of the real reason that I am embarking on this journey as a teacher and educator. Not for me. But for them. The kids.

So this is how I am turning self doubt into confidence. Not self confidence but confidence in Him that He will move through me to change some lives this year. Happy first day of school everyone!